College was a true refuge. But for a girl who may no longer look like someone with deep insecurities I certainly had them. A search for significance was deeply embedded into my soul and I was willing to find the fastest way to happiness, which if you have ever been around a college student is most often found in a red solo cup. I was ready to party (even though I didn’t drink), get a boyfriend (even though I had just received my first kiss weeks before at a summer camp) and be popular (again zero experience in this department) so I had a big game mentality with backyard game talk. However, the recipe for the girls in high school that were brutal to me was boys + party = popularity so why couldn’t it work for me now?